Good Morning, Jerk-Face!

"When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that my family, friends, and fans know what I believe in and what I'm all about. That's what should be important."
- Robert Randolph, musician

When I wake up, all I want is a cup of coffee (facetious tone!). But in all reality, I rather agree with Mr. Randolph. It's very difficult to get through the day if you are aware that people have the "wrong" idea about you. When your self-image doesn't match the image that others have of you it can be quite hurtful, whether people think less of you or expect more than you are capable of.

I do not think I am a horible person. When someone tells me that I am a horrible person, half of the time I become consumed with trying to convince this person that I am indeed a decent human being. Actually, I think I try to convince myself. For the most part, it doesn't matter what other people think of me.

As for family, my mother once called me the white sheep. I loved her for that. They knew the person that I wanted to be, and my parents encouraged it. My sister, being the polar opposite of everything I am, mocked me relentlessly. I was uncool, fat, and stupid in her eyes. After a while, I discovered that I didn't want her to think I was cool if being cool required stealing, doing drugs, and partying. Not that I didn't go through a phase where I did these things, I just hated myself for doing them.

Throughout highschool I never got along with the popular kids. I don't suppose my disdain for them helped too much, but it was a vicious hate-hate cycle. They never liked me, so I never liked them, and because I didn't like them they didn't like me. I never wanted them to. I had my friends who were accustomed to my particular quirks and flaws, and they liked me because, if not in spite, of these things.

I don't have any fans. If I did, I would want them to know what I believe too. I would want them to see me in the fullest way possible. Like my friends, I would want them to see the not so great things about me and the things that I think make me a fabulous example of a decent human being.

You can't really say you know someone unless you've seen both sides.

My Generation

Tonight is brought to you by a tall half peppermint half raspberry mocha, and an apparent fixation on all things 60s.

"We are the first generation in history that can end extreme poverty. That's our good fortune, our challenge and our responsibility"
- Jeffrey Sachs, Author

Y'know, it's probably true. We probably can end poverty in our lifetime. We probably could have done it twenty years ago, too. But we didn't. And as cynical as I may sound, I honestly don't believe that we will do it in the next twenty years. As a society, we haven't even figured out how to treat each other equally. We haven't cured AIDS, cancer, or the common cold.

What really bothers me is that we could do these things. It isn't a matter of lack of materials. I'm sure enough food is thrown out of North American homes each day to keep someone else fed. It sickens me how much food I let go to waste because I cannot be bothered to cook it before its expiration date. We've all been told to eat everything on our plates because somewhere in Africa there is a little boy or girl who didn't get dinner that night. Yet I'm sure we all realized that no-one was about to ship our dinner across the oceans to give it to the aforementioned starving child.

I recall reading a comic about Superman giving food to a remote country. And he had to do it the next day. Then the other hungry people decided they needed help too. One day, Superman didn't come.

I used to volunteer with this organization in Whalley. We gave out hot meals and clothes to whoever showed up, and some nights it got pretty busy. Soon, we started to recognize the regulars. Sure, there we were helping, but why did they keep coming back? Weren't we making their lives better so that they didn't need to be dependent on out handouts? Give a man a fish...

I believe in trying to make the world a better place. I just don't believe that we can ever solve everything. Despite the world's efforts, there will always be someone who doesn't have a home to go to. There will always be someone who didn't get dinner. But maybe tomorrow there will be one less. And maybe twenty years from now we'll be a lot closer to the perfect world than we are at this very moment.

Maybe.

Two for the Price of "WHAT? A COFFEE COSTS HOW MUCH?!"

Really, I've ceased to be surprised by how much my favourite concoctions can cost. A venti extra-shot cafe vanilla orange frappucino, double-blended and affogato style please costs a nasty $6 or so. Being a college student who cannot afford rent and food as it is, I decided to go with the much safer cinnamon dolce latte for this evening's musings.

"Give me world politics, gender politics, party politics or small-town politics...I'll take them all over the politics of youth sports."
- Brenda Stonecipher, Starbucks customer

As promised, tonight I have a special bonus quotation for you!

"Poli`tics" is made up of two words, "poli", which is Greek for "many", and "tics, which are blood sucking insects.
-Gore Vidal (also attributed to Dave Barry, Robin Williams, and many others)

While I have to smile and sort of agree with Gore/Dave/Robin, I rather disagree with Brenda. Give me anything but gender politics! Even the words conjure up images of scary femi-nazi lesbians raging against the evils of a patriarchal society designed to repress women. Whatever!

I am fully aware that there are is a great number of women who will never step foot in a school. I am well aware that in some places women are not allowed to show their faces in public. I realize that many girls and women are sold into the sex trade. I do not deny that these things happen. I do, however, deny that in North American society women are not equal to men.

Each sex has traditionally defined roles to play in our society. These are stereotypes, and not evil totalitarian regimes of terror over the daily lives of people. Men are typically perceived to be more left-brained, and value physical strength. Women tend to be seen as nurturing and more social. Why? Because for the most part, that's just how we are. Whether this is a product of biology or society is sort of bumph. I know several women who work in traditionally male jobs - carpentry, doctoring, etc. They do these things as well as any of my male friends do. I also have male friends who are just as qualified to teach or raise a family as any woman I know.

The strengths of each gender stereotype are different, but none is inferior. We need both. And we need men to be the hunter/gatherers; we need women too. We need women to nourish our society, as well as men. We need men to protect women, and women who can protect themselves. We need women to protect men.

Because I do not treat women as inferior, I expect that most people I know do not. I know, it's a horrible habit to assume the world thinks as I do. I'm surprised that with all our modern thinking we haven't solved the world's problems. Perhaps that makes me childish, idealistic and a prime example of all-out denial. But shouldn't we have grasped the concept of human equality a while ago? I'm not a feminist. I am not a masculinist. I'm not, in the strictest terms, a humanist. I'm just a person who wants the world to get along, and is somewhat baffled as to why it doesn't yet.

And heck, here's a third quote:

"You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one"

- John Lennon visionary, icon, poet

Day 1

It is 9:22. I am not about to go and actually purchase a Starbucks beverage at this time of night. The last time I did, I ended up not sleeping for two entire days. It wasn't pretty. For the sake of an entry, I will begin this blog with a quote stolen from the Starbucks website

"Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up."

- Dean Karnanzes, Author of Ultramarathon Man


Last year I had my schedule all planned out. I had my job, volunteering to feed the homeless, school and some semblance of a social life all tucked away into their proper places on my mental schedule. I was passionate about everything on my plate, and I was going to do it all. However, it turns out that people need to sleep, and that alone time is essential to living a healthy and balanced life. After about a week, I dropped several of my volunteer/extra curricular projects. I simply did not have the time to tackle everything I wanted to do. Then, I decided to quit the horrible job, in order to put my energies into my horrible school and horrible commitments. That winter sucked. But I held on, and didn't give up. Mr. Karnanzes would be proud!